Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
