I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
BRING THE BAGELS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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