Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
