I want to have your abortion
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
