I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
