dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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