I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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