My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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