i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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