hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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