i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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