This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
