I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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