But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
