even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
