Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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