his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
