Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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