the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
