i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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