I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
