if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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