you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
