goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
