would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
