How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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