Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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