I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm always down for nudity.
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