I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
