Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
