My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
