Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
