So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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