chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
