OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
