i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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