escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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