i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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