Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
