my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize