That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
