Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
