You can't motorboat a personality
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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