Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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