I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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