Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
