Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize