Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
