I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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