My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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