I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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