I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
