The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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