OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
