I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ketchup is God's man juice
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
