i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
