before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
