I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
