so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
