I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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