I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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