So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm like, not good at living.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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