That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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